The Battle

Feeling like I'm in the desert lately.

 I'm trying so very hard to keep my eyes on Him but it's such a battle.

My anxiety and fear are flaring up and I feel like I'm in the midst of a real war.

 I feel forgotten lately and really wonder why we have been called on this road. Have we been called? Did we hear Him right? Doubt creeps in....are we supposed to look somewhere else? Is it ever going to happen?
 It's not just the adoption, it's life in general for me. Unhealthy fears, medical issues, the timing of things happening in our lives, feeling like a horrible parent a lot of the time. There have been so many tragedies with our families in a short amount of time that I think I've been knocked off my strong foundation.

 BUT.....God is still there whispering in my ear just when I need to hear it. Yesterday I did my devo and found this verse written on a random scrap of paper so I looked it up.
      "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."  Heb. 11:1
At this time God was whispering...."Child do you know that I called you to this? (adoption) I answered "Yes Lord I do believe this."
Again God whispered "Do you believe that I would call you to something and not complete it?" I answered "No I know that you'll complete it."
Yet again He said "Well, then just because you don't see things happening doesn't mean that I am not moving or working on behalf of you and this child."

WHAMOOOO!!!! Talk about getting an answer!

Even though there appears to be absolutely no end in sight and my humanness wants to become angry and mad at Him, our agency, the gov't, or anyone else for that matter I must cling to what He whispered in my ear. None of this makes any sense to me and is so hard but I must press on. Not just the adoption road but in life. If you think of it please pray for this battle that I'm facing.....I would so appreciate it. Much love my friends!
I just keep coming back to this song lately. Check it out! http://youtu.be/iaVPupbNFAo